Lessons Learned

These couple of months have been exciting but also trying for me as a mother.  Raising kids is no joke.  It's hard.  It's the most rewarding job I've ever had, but it is hard.  To go back a little, I remember when Lachlyn slept through the night at 3 months old.  I also remember Rhone taking 2-3 hour naps and sleeping 10-12 hours at night.  Those were the days... lately things have been very different around here.  Ever since the big move, I have Rhone lay down in bed for 2 hours, sometimes he sleeps, sometimes he plays.  With Lachlyn, the combination of changing her schedule and sleeping in places that were foreign to her, Lachlyn has woke up nearly every single night between 2 & 3:00 wanting me to feed her back to sleep.  Teething, stuffy nose, and me running in every time she cries hasn't helped me get her back to sleeping more than 6 hours in a row.  Part of the problem is us needing to be somewhat quiet because we are living in a duplex now, and we are trying our hardest to be respectful of the family underneath us.  But really, if this is all I have to complain about with her, I think I'm doing pretty darn good.

Rhone has also been a subject of discussion these days.  He really is such a good little boy.  Great manors, well behaved (most of the time) and soo sweet.  But my little heart melter has had a little case of the terrible two's lately.  He can be a little much sometimes.  He's aggressive, he opinionated, and wants things done his way.  Not to mention the amount of talking that he does is enough to send quiet kids running.  Being home more, has opened my eyes a little more as to how he acts around other kids.  Some kids love him, and some kids are scared of him.  He's definitely all boy.

I have also noticed lately my faults as a mother in situations where Rhone is misbehaving or simply overpowering other kids.  I tend to make excuses for him.  Such as comments like, "he didn't get a nap today" or "sorry, I don't know what has gotten into him lately".  I also tend to control how he is perceived.  I love this boy soo much and understand him so well that I don't want his pushiness or bossiness to be perceived in a bad way.  I want everyone that meets him to see how wonderful he is, when in reality he does this on his own.  He doesn't need me to talk him up or make excuses for him, people can see it for themselves. 

I wanted to share this blog with you all because well it's one of my favorites.  Casey Leigh posted such a wonderful, inspirational post about a class she is taking about raising toddlers.  You can find this post here.  This post came at such a great time in my life when I needed it the most.  I am a newly stay at home mom who is trying her best, and well every once in a while a mom just needs a little wake up call or in this case a reminder of the kind of parent I want to be.  I made KC read it as well, and all though alot of the tips we were already doing, there were a couple that stood out to us.

For myself it was number 7:

Your children may have a quality that comes across negative right now but it is a quality, a gift that God gave them and they just do not know how to "channel" it yet. Don't put that quality down! Talk to them about it in a positive way as you try and teach them how to channel it properly.

Bossy : A Leader
Defiant : Brave
Hyper: Passionate
Nosy: Curious
Picky Eater : Discerning (knows what they like)
Shy : Careful
Stubborn : Tenacious
Whiny : Outspoken

"Wow, I know that you are being so careful right now and that is a beautiful quality! But you know what? It's super sweet to introduce yourself to new friends. Show them that wonderful smile of yours!"

How true is this!  My little Rhone can be pretty much all of these expect for Shy, which shows me he is going to be an amazing man someday.  Hopefully a lot like his father.  

It also made me realize that instead of making excuses for him to other people, I need to be proud of him and flood people with all the good things I see in him.  God did his best work with him and I for one need to remember that although discipline is needed to teach, so is love.  And if I can show him by example, I hope he will pick up on that and learn from positive influences as opposed to always telling him what he is doing wrong.

For KC it was number 1:

Time in Attention: it is important that each child has 5-10 minutes of just one on one time with each parent throughout the day.

This last week he has made a big effort to make sure to give each kid 10-15 mins of attention just the two of them.  Taking Rhone to the store with him, going on walks, playing cars in his room have made Rhone feel special and his face lights up when KC asks him to do something with him.  

For the Both of us it was number 2:

Behind their Back: It's probably obvious that you should never say something negative about your little one when they are in ear shot or can hear you. Or really ever. BUT something that they LOVE is hearing you praise them "behind their back". Chris and I love love this one! We do it all the time, it's a great example of positive reinforcement. 

Rhone is really paying more attention to how KC and I talk to each other and what we are saying.  We can't hide anything anymore.... so this is something that we have really tried to do.  Usually at dinner time we talk about our day, and so I like to have Rhone tell KC what he did to make Lachlyn happy when she was sad.   I also love to say things to KC (pretending Rhone isn't listening) like "Rhone did so great in the store today, he didn't run off, he stayed right by my side the whole time"  and then KC acts so impressed.  It's a little boost to his confidence and also let him know that his positive behaviors get noticed just as much as his misbehavior.  

As Casey also mentioned in her post about getting a great report from the Sunday school teacher about her boy, I am thrilled to say that so did we.  Last Sunday, we went to church for the first time since the move and I was really nervous about how he would do.  Well when we came to pick him up, the teacher said he was such a sweet heart.  He did great and he really enjoyed the cars.  -no surprise there-